Come to Rudy, On an Inside Straight

Looks like Rudy's getting a bit desperate. Seeing as how he's not paying his top campaign staff this month, it's probably safe to say he's a bit low on cash right now, and having trouble raising more, what with that whole complete lack of momentum thing. I think his campaign needs a new theme song, but with customized lyrics:

If I had a spot for every ace I've drawn
I could air more ads about the terrorists
Don't you push me baby cause I'm polling low
You know I'm only in it for the ego

All that I am asking for is twenty three hundred dollars
I could pay you back with one good hand
You can look around about the wide world over
You'll never find another honest mayor

Last fair deal in the country, sweet Judy
Last fair deal in the town
Put your blood money where your love is, baby
Before you let my bid go down

Don't you push me baby
because I'm polling low
I know a little something
you won't ever know
Don't you read the papers just
a touch of Hannity
Gonna get up
in the morning and go

Everybody's bragging and spinning their lines
I can tell the Queen of Diamonds by the way she shines
Come to Rudy on an inside straight
I got no chance of losing this time
No, I got no chance of losing this time

Here's the real thing for you, from 8/4/76, Roosevelt Stadium, Jersey City, NJ (a wonderful version of a wonderful song, that really shouldn't be sullied with any connection to Rudy, but oh well):