Day-um!

Glenn Greenwald does tend to rule. Peggy Noonan? Not so much.

Governor Romney? It's Patrick Henry on line 1...

...something about there being no retreat but in submission and slavery, and you being some sort of rapper, or onion, or whatever a "rapscallion" is...

Patrick Henry, March 23, 1775:

Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!

Willard "Mitt" Romney, December, 2007:

Our most basic civil liberty is the right to be kept alive.

(h/t Glenn Greenwald.)

Yeah, so, um, thanks for the words of inspiration, Willard, although I'm pretty sure you just called me and every other living American a pussy. Yep. You did. Perhaps you need to re-watch the masterpiece that is Team America: World Police, and hearken unto its central message:

Freedom isn't free
It costs folks like you and me
And if we don't all chip in
We'll never pay that bill
Freedom isn't free
No, there's a hefty fuckin' fee.
And if you don't throw in your buck 'o five
Who will?

There's a reason, Willard, that Thomas Jefferson, in the Declaration of Independence, enumerated the rights of life and liberty separately: because they're not the same fucking thing.

BREAKING! DRINKING CAN LEAD TO SEX!

Absolutely stunning news on the Post's website today:

Study Links Drinking With Sex

Tuesday, December 25, 2007; Page HE02

Young adults who drink heavily are more likely than non-heavy drinkers to have multiple sex partners, studies have shown.

This makes such complete intuitive sense ("My god! Drinking can lead to sex?! We didn't know...WE DIDN'T KNOW!!!") that I feel compelled to follow this up with an "Oh you think so, doctor?"

...although apparently my college years were one heckuva statistical outlier...

I really hope Chris Cillizza doesn't write his own headlines.

Currently, on the front page of washingtonpost.com:

The Fix: Someone Has to Win

Friday Line | Despite the negativity about the GOP field, someone will win the nomination.

Chris Cillizza

Oh you think so, doctor?

The "Insight" of David Broder

Okay, so Jonah Goldberg relies on nepotism to get a book deal, I get that...but for the life of me, I can't figure out how David Broder continues to maintain such an exalted place amongst pundits. His column in today's WaPo is not so much wrong as it is pointless. As in there's no point to it. I learned absolutely nothing reading it. The point he tries to make is that, due to all sorts of wackiness on the campaign trail, "life has suddenly become very confusing on the way to the 2008 presidential election."

Wow, because primary season is usually so very, very straightforward, right? Did Broder just take an early vacation and let some intern write today's column?

He sure does have a funny way of showing it...

According to the NYT, Harry Reid apparently "hates" George W. Bush. Huh. I guess he must really love BigTelecom, then because that's the only reason I can see why he keeps giving Bush every thing he wants. (h/t, Froomkin.)

Mike Huckabee *Hearts* Me!

Via David Corn at Mother Jones, Mike "Loving Christian" Huckabee had this to say about folks like me in his 1998 opus, Kids Who Kill:

Men who have rejected God and do not walk in faith are more often than not immoral, impure, and improvident (Gal. 5:19-21). They are prone to extreme and destructive behavior, indulging in perverse vices and dissipating sensuality (1 Cor. 6:9-10). And they—along with their families and loved ones—are thus driven over the brink of destruction (Prov. 23:21)

Wow. I mean, I knew I was prone to "indulging in perverse vices and dissipating sensuality," but I really had no idea I was driving my family and loved ones over the brink of destruction along with me. Sorry about that guys! If only I was a well-behaved Christian lad, like David Huckabee, the pious son of a preacher man. (h/t: Michael D. at Balloon Juice)

Jonah Goldberg is teh stewpid

Via Yglesias (by way of Drum). I'm seriously, you guys, how does this 'bag get paid to spew these nutjob theories? There are times when I'm totally tempted to dress up in drag (blonde wig, natch, to make sure I pull in that Coulter demographic), join the Federalist Society, and start spewing forth the most ridiculous, juvenile, irresponsible, inflammatory bullshit I can dream up. I'm reasonably certain I could do a better job of it than Johan Goldberg. Jeebus.

Too bad I graduated from Wesleyan, which I'm pretty sure automatically makes me one of them thar "Liberal Fascists." Maybe I should've gone to Goucher instead.

Good point, Henry...why didn't you say something 5 years ago?

From today's WaPo Op/Ed section comes this gem of a headline:

Misreading the Iran Report

Why Spying and Policymaking Don't Mix

By Henry A. Kissinger

Seriously, Henry, you're right...so, um, where were you when Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfeld, and Paul Wolfowitz set up their own special intel office in the Pentagon to make sure that the intelligence they got matched their policy goals?

Maybe he should just say he didn't inhale...

Via Alec MacGillis at WaPo's The Trail:

Clinton N.H. Official Warns Obama Will Be Attacked on Drug Use

I really have nothing to add that could make this more pathetic or more amusing, so I'm gonna let it be.

i can has substance?

Lead story - complete with Doomsday headline - on HuffPo right now:

BILL SHOCKER: I TOLD HILLARY TO DUMP ME

...back when they first started dating.

Wow. Thanks HuffPo. That's so much more topical than that boring old torture/obstruction of justice crap that I've been subjected to lately. Good thing we've got you guys as alternative to that tabloid-style crap the MSM foists on us. Maybe next up you can publish a story about all of the rumors that Obama is a Muslim...